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Hurry up, we're dreaming: the 2014 meme
Dec. 31st, 2014 03:16 pm1. What did you do in 2014 that you'd never done before?
Endure a PhD viva. Pass a PhD viva. Get a library assistant job. Get my dream library assistant job. Graduate with a PhD. Use the 'Dr' honorific. When you put it like that, 2014 was an amazing year.
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I made a general resolution to participate more, to talk and listen online. I went online to talk to people, but I felt I'd got to a very unsatisfying place of just passively reblogging stuff, with very little engagement or conversation. So my resolution was to seek out people who wanted to actually talk and engage, and to leap into conversations whenever I felt I had something to say. I basically wanted to shut down that cruel little voice that would say, 'but why would anyone want to talk to you?' and just see what happened once I was in the conversation.
Best. Decision. Ever. I have made so many new friends, engaged with so many interesting ideas, and just generally had a fabulous year online.
In other areas of my life, I had made a resolution to finish my PhD by July, and I did so.
Next year, I am going to make a few more coherent resolutions relating to online interactions, but for now they can be boiled down to 'Stop, Collaborate and Listen!'. I believe we as fannish communities are stronger the more we communicate, the more we engage with others with vastly different life experience and perspectives, and the more we work collaboratively and communally.
My other resolution is to get healthier.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My stepmother had another daughter, which makes me the oldest of five sisters. My cousin's wife is also pregnant and will have her baby early next year.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My grandmother. I really loved and admired her, and there is a giant gaping hole at the heart of our family now that she's gone.
5. What countries did you visit?
This wasn't a big year for travelling. I mostly stayed in England, with a trip to Wales for a wedding, and two trips to Germany.
6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?
A longer-term work visa.
7. What date from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
19th July. The day I walked from my college to the Senate House, knelt in front of the Chancellor as Ms Dolorosa while he said Latin over me, and rose as Dr Dolorosa. It was a long, bitter road, but I got there in the end.
19th July was also the day my newest sister was born, surely making my father the only person alive to simultaneously have one daughter with a PhD, one daughter with an MA, one in secondary school, one in primary school and one still not walking.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Receiving my PhD, and getting my dream job.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I had really low energy levels this year, and I need to work on that.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Lots of migraines, probably due to intense editing of my thesis I had to do.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Train tickets to visit friends elsewhere in the UK and to make day trips to London.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
On a personal level, my wonderful mother, my sister Mim, my partner Matthias, my lovely friends![[tumblr.com profile]](https://www.tumblr.com/favicon.ico)
shinyshoeshaveyouseenmymoves, gwehydd and thelxiepia, my former PhD supervisor, and the librarians who have guided me through the early stages of my career.
In a broader context, I would like to mention in particular the bravery and compassion of Rochita Loenen-Ruiz, Athena Andreadis, Rachel Manija-Brown, Kari Sperring and the other targets of Winterfox/Requires Hate/Benjanun Sriduangkaew, for standing up and speaking their truth in the face of vitriol, disbelief and victim-blaming. Also deserving celebration are Laura Mixon and the rest of her team for finally listening to the targets and gathering information about Winterfox's abusive behaviour in a way that couldn't be ignored.
Finally, I would like to draw attention to the #illridewithyou movement on Twitter on the day of the Sydney siege. Cruelty should always be met with a response of kindness, not fear.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Unsurprisingly, considering how much of my attention was consumed by the Winterfox situation, I was outraged at how many people chose to respond to revelations of her bullying and abuse with denial, victim blaming and bullying of their own. I lost a huge amount of respect for so many people in the SFF community over that.
I also continue to be outraged and appalled by the behaviour of the Australian government, which has sunk to new lows in cruelty and petty vindictiveness.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent and living costs.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Graduating with my PhD. My new job. Travelling to North Wales for the wedding of my friends B and M, and to stay withgwehydd, her husband and their adorable baby son. Seeing my mum and sister during the northern summer.
16. What song will always remind you of 2014?
The whole 'Hurry Up, We're Dreaming' album by M83, which was a belated discovery. Same goes for 'Drowned in a Sea of Sound' by The Daysleepers. '(Tonight) We Burn Like Stars That Never Die' by Hammock was definitely the song of December.
But as for the song of the year, that can only be one thing: 'Worlds Apart', by Seven Lions, featuring Kerli.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier, but feeling quite melancholy at the prospect of Christmas without my grandmother.
ii. thinner or fatter? About the same.
iii. richer or poorer? On the verge of becoming richer.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Yoga.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Feeling angry.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
I was with Matthias' family in Germany this year. On Christmas Eve we had the usual family celebration with his parents. On Christmas Day we went visited his sister and her fiance and had raclette.
22. Did you fall in love in 2014?
I fell more in love with Matthias, and with our life together.
23. Did your heart break in 2014?
My grandmother's death was devastating.
On a smaller scale, I interviewed for, and failed to get what I thought was my dream job. I had no idea that I was going to get my real dream job just several months later.
24. What was your favourite TV program?
My old favourites Orphan Black and Pretty Little Liars retained their treasured place in my heart. I also thoroughly enjoyed Peaky Blinders, In the Flesh and Happy Valley. The Musketeers was joyful, unapologetic fun. I've also recently begun watching Orange Is The New Black and that is fabulous.
25. Where were you when 2014 began?
At a house party in Cambridge.
26. Who were you with?
Matthias and bunch of our ASNC friends.
27. Where will you be when 2014 ends?
At a party at Matthias' sister's house in Germany.
28. Who will you be with when 2014 ends?
Matthias, his sister, her (by then) husband, and the younger guests from their wedding.
29. What was the best book you read?
Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie.
30. What was your greatest musical discovery?
While they weren't exactly new to me, I got much more into The Daysleepers, Hammock and God Is An Astronaut (apparently 2014 was my year of ambient/post-rock/space rock music). I also really enjoyed The Glitch Mob.
31. What did you want and get?
To graduate with my PhD. A full-time library job.
32. What did you want and not get?
My grandmother to be alive.
33. What was your favourite film of this year?
If it weren't for the presence of one irritating trope, Guardians of the Galaxy would romp home in this category. No other film really stood out, although I enjoyed The Grand Budapest Hotel and Only Lovers Left Alive a lot.
34. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
This year the celebrations stretched for almost a week. Two days before my birthday, Matthias and I went ice-skating at the temporary rink in Cambridge. The day before, he took me out to lunch and then we saw The Hobbit. On the day itself we mostly stayed at home and did last-minute preparations for our trip to Germany. Two days later his parents took us on a day-trip to Berlin. I was thirty.
35. How many different states/cities did you travel to in 2014?
I was mostly in Cambridge, although I made a couple of day-trips to London. I went to Anglesey, York and Exeter in the UK, and Berlin, Warburg, Bielefeld and Vlotho in Germany. It wasn't a big year for travel for me.
36. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?
I HAVE DISCOVERED THAT DRESSES SUIT ME BETTER THAN SKIRTS.
37. What kept you sane?
The kindness, empathy, and love of Matthias, friends and family.
38. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Shay Mitchell and Idris Elba.
39. What political issue stirred you the most?
I am very concerned about the rise of far-right nationalism in Europe, and of anti-immigrant feeling more generally. I continue to focus most of my political energies on feminist issues.
40. How many concerts did you see in 2014?
CHVRCHES and St Vincent, both in Cambridge.
41. Did you have a favourite concert in 2014?
I really can't decide between the two.
42. Who was the best new person you met?
It was really great to get to know Rochita Loenen-Ruiz, Likhain, Aliette de Bodard, Tade Thompson, EP Beaumont, hesychasm, Natalie Luhrs and others, even though the circumstances that brought us together were appalling. I admire them all so much, and really feel like important work is being done to make progressive SFF safer, kinder and more inclusive.
43. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
No.
44. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2014?
I'm not easily embarrassed.
45. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014.
Kindness, not fear. I know I sound like a broken record by this point, but it really was the theme of the year.
46. What are your plans for 2015?
Start my new job. Help Matthias get on with his new MA. Sort out visa stuff. Start living.
47. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Guess I'm trying to say
It hurts to feel this far
Million miles away
Next to me, next to me you are
And if you're sitting right here,
Then why are we worlds apart?
Why are we worlds apart?
If you're so near,
Why do you feel this far?
Why are we worlds apart?
—Seven Lions ft. Kerli, 'Worlds Apart'
Don't you know, love? My heart is a monster
—The Daysleepers, 'Release the Kraken'
Don't cry
The sky is in our eyes
Tonight we burn like stars that never die
Let's go drive
And live like we're alive
Tonight we are the stars that never die
One day our song will end
So now let's just pretend
Tonight we burn like stars that never die
So don't cry
Heaven is in our eyes
Tonight we are the stars that never die
Tonight we burn like stars that never die
—Hammock, '(Tonight) We Burn Like Stars That Never Die'
Endure a PhD viva. Pass a PhD viva. Get a library assistant job. Get my dream library assistant job. Graduate with a PhD. Use the 'Dr' honorific. When you put it like that, 2014 was an amazing year.
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I made a general resolution to participate more, to talk and listen online. I went online to talk to people, but I felt I'd got to a very unsatisfying place of just passively reblogging stuff, with very little engagement or conversation. So my resolution was to seek out people who wanted to actually talk and engage, and to leap into conversations whenever I felt I had something to say. I basically wanted to shut down that cruel little voice that would say, 'but why would anyone want to talk to you?' and just see what happened once I was in the conversation.
Best. Decision. Ever. I have made so many new friends, engaged with so many interesting ideas, and just generally had a fabulous year online.
In other areas of my life, I had made a resolution to finish my PhD by July, and I did so.
Next year, I am going to make a few more coherent resolutions relating to online interactions, but for now they can be boiled down to 'Stop, Collaborate and Listen!'. I believe we as fannish communities are stronger the more we communicate, the more we engage with others with vastly different life experience and perspectives, and the more we work collaboratively and communally.
My other resolution is to get healthier.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My stepmother had another daughter, which makes me the oldest of five sisters. My cousin's wife is also pregnant and will have her baby early next year.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My grandmother. I really loved and admired her, and there is a giant gaping hole at the heart of our family now that she's gone.
5. What countries did you visit?
This wasn't a big year for travelling. I mostly stayed in England, with a trip to Wales for a wedding, and two trips to Germany.
6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?
A longer-term work visa.
7. What date from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
19th July. The day I walked from my college to the Senate House, knelt in front of the Chancellor as Ms Dolorosa while he said Latin over me, and rose as Dr Dolorosa. It was a long, bitter road, but I got there in the end.
19th July was also the day my newest sister was born, surely making my father the only person alive to simultaneously have one daughter with a PhD, one daughter with an MA, one in secondary school, one in primary school and one still not walking.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Receiving my PhD, and getting my dream job.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I had really low energy levels this year, and I need to work on that.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Lots of migraines, probably due to intense editing of my thesis I had to do.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Train tickets to visit friends elsewhere in the UK and to make day trips to London.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
On a personal level, my wonderful mother, my sister Mim, my partner Matthias, my lovely friends
In a broader context, I would like to mention in particular the bravery and compassion of Rochita Loenen-Ruiz, Athena Andreadis, Rachel Manija-Brown, Kari Sperring and the other targets of Winterfox/Requires Hate/Benjanun Sriduangkaew, for standing up and speaking their truth in the face of vitriol, disbelief and victim-blaming. Also deserving celebration are Laura Mixon and the rest of her team for finally listening to the targets and gathering information about Winterfox's abusive behaviour in a way that couldn't be ignored.
Finally, I would like to draw attention to the #illridewithyou movement on Twitter on the day of the Sydney siege. Cruelty should always be met with a response of kindness, not fear.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Unsurprisingly, considering how much of my attention was consumed by the Winterfox situation, I was outraged at how many people chose to respond to revelations of her bullying and abuse with denial, victim blaming and bullying of their own. I lost a huge amount of respect for so many people in the SFF community over that.
I also continue to be outraged and appalled by the behaviour of the Australian government, which has sunk to new lows in cruelty and petty vindictiveness.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent and living costs.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Graduating with my PhD. My new job. Travelling to North Wales for the wedding of my friends B and M, and to stay with
16. What song will always remind you of 2014?
The whole 'Hurry Up, We're Dreaming' album by M83, which was a belated discovery. Same goes for 'Drowned in a Sea of Sound' by The Daysleepers. '(Tonight) We Burn Like Stars That Never Die' by Hammock was definitely the song of December.
But as for the song of the year, that can only be one thing: 'Worlds Apart', by Seven Lions, featuring Kerli.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier, but feeling quite melancholy at the prospect of Christmas without my grandmother.
ii. thinner or fatter? About the same.
iii. richer or poorer? On the verge of becoming richer.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Yoga.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Feeling angry.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
I was with Matthias' family in Germany this year. On Christmas Eve we had the usual family celebration with his parents. On Christmas Day we went visited his sister and her fiance and had raclette.
22. Did you fall in love in 2014?
I fell more in love with Matthias, and with our life together.
23. Did your heart break in 2014?
My grandmother's death was devastating.
On a smaller scale, I interviewed for, and failed to get what I thought was my dream job. I had no idea that I was going to get my real dream job just several months later.
24. What was your favourite TV program?
My old favourites Orphan Black and Pretty Little Liars retained their treasured place in my heart. I also thoroughly enjoyed Peaky Blinders, In the Flesh and Happy Valley. The Musketeers was joyful, unapologetic fun. I've also recently begun watching Orange Is The New Black and that is fabulous.
25. Where were you when 2014 began?
At a house party in Cambridge.
26. Who were you with?
Matthias and bunch of our ASNC friends.
27. Where will you be when 2014 ends?
At a party at Matthias' sister's house in Germany.
28. Who will you be with when 2014 ends?
Matthias, his sister, her (by then) husband, and the younger guests from their wedding.
29. What was the best book you read?
Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie.
30. What was your greatest musical discovery?
While they weren't exactly new to me, I got much more into The Daysleepers, Hammock and God Is An Astronaut (apparently 2014 was my year of ambient/post-rock/space rock music). I also really enjoyed The Glitch Mob.
31. What did you want and get?
To graduate with my PhD. A full-time library job.
32. What did you want and not get?
My grandmother to be alive.
33. What was your favourite film of this year?
If it weren't for the presence of one irritating trope, Guardians of the Galaxy would romp home in this category. No other film really stood out, although I enjoyed The Grand Budapest Hotel and Only Lovers Left Alive a lot.
34. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
This year the celebrations stretched for almost a week. Two days before my birthday, Matthias and I went ice-skating at the temporary rink in Cambridge. The day before, he took me out to lunch and then we saw The Hobbit. On the day itself we mostly stayed at home and did last-minute preparations for our trip to Germany. Two days later his parents took us on a day-trip to Berlin. I was thirty.
35. How many different states/cities did you travel to in 2014?
I was mostly in Cambridge, although I made a couple of day-trips to London. I went to Anglesey, York and Exeter in the UK, and Berlin, Warburg, Bielefeld and Vlotho in Germany. It wasn't a big year for travel for me.
36. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?
I HAVE DISCOVERED THAT DRESSES SUIT ME BETTER THAN SKIRTS.
37. What kept you sane?
The kindness, empathy, and love of Matthias, friends and family.
38. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Shay Mitchell and Idris Elba.
39. What political issue stirred you the most?
I am very concerned about the rise of far-right nationalism in Europe, and of anti-immigrant feeling more generally. I continue to focus most of my political energies on feminist issues.
40. How many concerts did you see in 2014?
CHVRCHES and St Vincent, both in Cambridge.
41. Did you have a favourite concert in 2014?
I really can't decide between the two.
42. Who was the best new person you met?
It was really great to get to know Rochita Loenen-Ruiz, Likhain, Aliette de Bodard, Tade Thompson, EP Beaumont, hesychasm, Natalie Luhrs and others, even though the circumstances that brought us together were appalling. I admire them all so much, and really feel like important work is being done to make progressive SFF safer, kinder and more inclusive.
43. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
No.
44. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2014?
I'm not easily embarrassed.
45. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014.
Kindness, not fear. I know I sound like a broken record by this point, but it really was the theme of the year.
46. What are your plans for 2015?
Start my new job. Help Matthias get on with his new MA. Sort out visa stuff. Start living.
47. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Guess I'm trying to say
It hurts to feel this far
Million miles away
Next to me, next to me you are
And if you're sitting right here,
Then why are we worlds apart?
Why are we worlds apart?
If you're so near,
Why do you feel this far?
Why are we worlds apart?
—Seven Lions ft. Kerli, 'Worlds Apart'
Don't you know, love? My heart is a monster
—The Daysleepers, 'Release the Kraken'
Don't cry
The sky is in our eyes
Tonight we burn like stars that never die
Let's go drive
And live like we're alive
Tonight we are the stars that never die
One day our song will end
So now let's just pretend
Tonight we burn like stars that never die
So don't cry
Heaven is in our eyes
Tonight we are the stars that never die
Tonight we burn like stars that never die
—Hammock, '(Tonight) We Burn Like Stars That Never Die'
