Beyond Selidor

The thing that struck me most upon my return was not the weather so much as the silence. My mother lives in the most densely-populated postcode in Australia. It is a suburb full of backpackers, nightclubs and bars, and is also the red light district. It is, as Matthias noted, the only place where it seems perfectly natural for a sourdough bakery to be open 24 hours a day. It's so vibrant and full of life. It seems so odd to be at home and hear nothing.

When I think back on the trip, the word that describes it best is 'whirlwind'. Not just in terms of time (we were only there for three weeks) but in terms of emotions. I felt as if the space that I had occupied there had closed up behind me, and while it wasn't too much work to make a space for myself again, it was work. It is, of course, entirely natural that people's lives move on when you go away, but I think the internet gives me an illusion of being up to date about all the changes people have gone through, and conversely keeps them entirely informed of who I've become.

I was really happy with how welcoming my family and friends were of Matthias. The trip was filled with events where I was able to catch up with everyone and where he was able to get to know people. Melbourne with my dad, stepmother and sisters was the usual chaotic fun, and we managed to see two of my friends there as well. In Sydney, I organised drinks and dinner on the roof of my apartment block (it has views of Sydney Harbour) with my Sydney Uni friends and K (who I've known since primary school through gymnastics). There were several other events with that group, so we managed to see everyone amid the comings and goings of the Christmas holidays. We also had lunch with angel_cc and catpuccino and dinner with two of Matthias' friends who live in Sydney. lucubratae came up for a daytrip and had lunch with us, which was great (and very generous). We also saw all my relatives on both sides of the family. But after two weeks, I found it all too much - I am an introvert at heart - and tried to slow down a bit. In the final week in Sydney, we mostly just did stuff on our own - lots of beach trips, a day exploring recommended bars and seeing The Hobbit (which I will write about later), and a day at the cricket, which was my birthday and Christmas present to Matthias.

The trip was a bit of a mixed bag, although on the whole it was positive. But I find it difficult to be confronted with the past, with my history, with the weight of people's memories. You cannot ever go back, and although I have no doubt that I would have a wonderful life if I moved back to Australia, the recent trip has convinced me that Britain is where I want to be for the moment.