Beyond Selidor

01: tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now?
His excellent taste in music.

02: what on your body is hurting or bothering you?
As always, I have RSI-related pains in my right hand, wrist, arm, shoulders, neck and back.

03: what was your last thought before going to bed last night?
'I'm annoyed that I'm going to lose an hour due to daylight saving.

04: what are you listening to?
The sound of the wind blowing our windchimes around.

05: what’s something you’re not looking forward to?
Having to continue my job-hunt next week.

06: where do you think your best friend is right now?
I know she's at home over the Easter break, and as it's Sunday afternoon, I suspect she's having a pub lunch with her family.

07: have you kissed anybody in the last five days?
Yes, my partner, unsurprisingly.

08: favorite song ?
'Mezzanine' by Massive Attack is what I consider to be the most technically and sonically perfect song. 'Blinding' by Florence + The Machine is the song with which I identify the most. 'Deeper Water' by Paul Kelly moves me the most.

09: kiss on the first date?
I don't think you can make a general rule about this. It depends on the person, and the kind of connection you make.

10: is there one person you want to be with right now?
He's here!

11: are you seriously happy with where you are in life?
In the short-term, I am happy with where I am. In the long-term, there are some deep, underlying issues that are causing me a lot of worry and grief.

12: is there something you would like to say to someone?
I'm a very open person, so I'm mostly able to say what I want to people. But I wish I were better at saying to people - especially people I love, admire and for whom I am very grateful - that I love, appreciate and value them, but at the same time acknowledge openly to them that their behaviour has at times affected and hurt me deeply.

13: what are three things you did today?
I went to my yoga class, had lunch, and internetted.

14: would you rather sleep at a friend’s or have them over?
I'm pretty uncomfortable having most people sleeping in my space, so I would prefer to sleep over at other people's houses.

15: what is your favorite kind of gum?
I detest chewing gum. I'm all about the mints.

16: are you friends with any of your ex boyfriends/ girlfriends?
All of them except one.

17: what is on your wrists right now?
Umm, my shirt?

18: ever liked someone you thought you didn’t stand a chance with?
Yes.

19: does anyone have strong feelings for you?
I would hope that my partner does. I can't speak for anyone else.

20: are you slowly drifting away from someone?
Not at present, but it has happened in the past, and it's something that really upsets me.

21: have you ever wasted your time on someone?
That implies a really ugly utilitarian attitude towards friendship and other people. Nothing you do is wasted.

22: can you do the alphabet in sign language?
I used to be able to sign the alphabet in Australian Sign Language, but I'm not sure if I remember the whole thing now.

23: how have you felt today?
Loved, peaceful and happy. Also furious, outraged, upset and personally attacked. My family call me 'Typhoon Ronni', because I'm a whirlwind of emotions.

24: you receive £60 without any reason, what do you spend it on?
Rent or food.

25: what is wrong with you right now?
Physically, my RSI is causing me a lot of pain in my right arm and shoulder. Psychologically I'm having a pretty rough time right now, but I'm working on it.

26: is there anyone you’re really disappointed in?
No, but I am hurt by the actions of several people.

27: would you rather have starbucks or jamba juice right now?
I don't know what Jamba Juice is, but it sounds like a chain, so I'm not interested. And STARBUCKS. IS. NOT. COFFEE. (Neither, in case that wasn't clear.)

28: why aren’t you in ‘love’ with your last ex anymore?
I love and care about him, but I am not 'in love' with him any more. This is mainly because time takes everything away, because I have changed and because there are other songs now, and they mean something different.

29: how late did you stay up last night and why?
I was up until about midnight, because I was reading a really good book and found it difficult to put down.

30: when was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
My partner is one of my best friends, and I am talking to him right now. I was chatting with thelxiepia yesterday.

31: what were you doing an hour ago?
I was eating my lunch.

32: what are you looking forward to in the next month?
I'm looking forward to having the time and space to really work on my thesis.

33: are you wearing jeans right now?
No. I almost always wear skirts.

34: are you a patient person?
Yes.

35: do you think you can last in a relationship for three months?
I know I can!

36: favorite color?
Green.

37: did you have a dream last night?
Yes. I was in the Civic bus interchange in Canberra (I knew it was Civic, but it looked much more like the Woden one, but raised as covered walkways above Garema Place and the area around the old Greater Union cinema). There had been a zombie apocalypse and my sister and I were waiting for a bus to take us interstate. We were alert and anxious in the deserted, greying wasteland. We separated to find food from a cafe in Garema Place, and by the time we'd returned, the bus had left without us.

Post-apocalyptic bus interchanges, especially those in Canberra, are a frequent (albeit recent) dream setting for me. I'm not entirely sure why.

38: are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?
Yoga pants.

39: if someone could be cuddling you right now, who would you want it to be?
Guess what? It's International Hug a Medievalist Day, and I have my very own medievalist to hug right here. :)

40: do you love anyone who is not related to you?
Yes. My partner, and many of my friends.

41: if someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
These are very high-school questions. My attitude about this sort of situation is this: I think people should be honest with one another if they feel safe and able to do so. I think this allows for friendships and relationships that aren't based on false assumptions. But it's quite clear that I'm happily in love with my partner, and I can't really see how the revelation that someone else was in love with me would change things.

42: do you like meeting new people?
I tend to be quite uncomfortable with new people at first, warm to them quickly (or dislike them quickly - I form impressions of people very quickly) and consider them friends much sooner than a lot of people would. I'm a very trusting person.

43: are you afraid of falling in love?
No. I fall in love frequently, easily. I'm not talking only about romantic love. My capacity to love is deep.

44: ever self-harmed or starved yourself?
I haven't had an eating disorder, but I have self-harmed on occasion in situations when I'm very, very angry or frightened.

45: has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?
Yes.

46: have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough?
Frequently. But I think this is normal.