Beyond Selidor

Thirty Day Book Meme Day 8: Have more than one copy

Since Matthias and I moved in together and amalgamated our libraries, technically I have two copies of a lot of things (most notably, perhaps, pretty much every Discworld book), but I'll go with The Tiger in the Well by Philip Pullman here.

When I got married a year-and-a-half ago, my sraffie friends (people I'd met through a fansite for Pullman's His Dark Materials series) gave us a joint present of a crate filled with books, each one representing a story that was important to the individual giver, and each with a message written inside for us. The crate they came in was decorated as if it had previously stored Tokay from Jordan College, the fictional Oxford college in which His Dark Materials begins. And wonderful thelxiepia, my sister by choice, the best friend I made through those sites, and one of my bridesmaids, gave me The Tiger in the Well.

She did this in full knowledge that I already had a copy of the book, a battered version first bought from what I now know was the Waterstones in Gower St, when I was fourteen and on a trip to Europe and New York with my mother and sister. But it was a book for which the two of us shared a deep love — our favourite in Pullman's Sally Lockhart series, and one we'd discussed avidly at various points over the years. It was the perfect gift, and I'm glad I now have two copies as a result.

( The other days )

Note: I'm talking here about my family in very positive terms. I know some of you have difficult or distressing relationships with your families, so this might be something you want to skip if you think it will be upsetting for you to read.

I don't want to make a super long post for International Women's Day, but I did want to talk a little bit about my wonderful, loquacious, gossipy, emotionally articulate, supportive, matriarchal family. My grandmother, who would have turned 87 on Friday, was the beating heart of our family, and was the oldest of seven siblings (five of whom survived past infancy), and her two sisters were always very much part of our family gatherings, laughing uproariously and talking at a million miles an hour. My grandmother did not have any formal education beyond the age of eight, and she wrote awkwardly because her teachers had forced her to write with her right hand, although she was left-handed. In spite of these obstacles, she was one of the most intelligent people I have ever known, a Scrabble and crossword fiend, so witty with her turns of phrase. She is the reason the rest of us are such champion talkers, and why so many of her daughters and granddaughters ended up in fields where words and communication are crucial.

My mother is the oldest of my grandmother's four daughters, and she was the first person in her family to go to university, and one of the first women in Australia to have a permanent show on the radio. She was the first and greatest in a long line of older women who acted as guides, teachers and mentors to me, and is responsible for my love of stories, literature, reading, writing and learning. One of the things I admire most about my mother is her ability to sit down next to any person in the world and find common ground, getting them to open up and tell their story. Above all things, my mother nurtured and encouraged my intellectual curiosity, and her staunch support and belief played a big role in giving me the strength and determination to pursue my academic qualifications to the bitter end.

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I have the great fortune and privilege to be the oldest of five sisters (one of whom I grew up alongside, the other three being significantly younger), and to have grown up surrounded by aunts, great-aunts and female cousins (as well as my mother's closest female friends, who became like surrogate aunts to me), in a truly matriarchal family, where women's voices, experiences, relationships and feelings were genuinely celebrated. I have also been lucky in that since secondary school, my most important mentors (English teachers, supportive undergrad lecturers, Honours thesis supervisor, editors, MPhil and PhD supervisor, previous and current library bosses) have all been women. Furthermore, at every stage of my life, I have been friends with amazing, intelligent, compassionate and generally awesome women. This matters to me. It has shaped me and guided me, and given me strength and courage, and I like to think that I've been able to share some of that with the various girls and women in my life. I hope that all of the women reading this are able to experience something similar, whether with families of blood or of choice. It is my norm, it is my greatest joy and my greatest strength. It is my feminism.

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